Back from Atlantic City
So, I return from my most recent journey to Atlantic City. Stayed at the Borgata again. The beds there are the best of any hotel I've been to, mostly because of their pillows. You get 3!! So I went with Brian the amigo for a few days. Of course we are extremely cheap, not so much poor, but very cheap, so we decided to eat sandwiches in my car in the parking garage instead of pay money to eat in the casino. We need more than just sandwiches. Maybe some potato salad, or chips. My dad thought we were idiots and should have just eaten real meals in the casino. He says, "you'll gamble with hundreds of dollars, but you won't pay $10 to eat a real meal." I reply, "yes, that's true, except it costs $20."
So, we got pretty much the same room as before, but the layout was reversed. Maybe we got a room on the other side of the hotel. They gave us a generous offering of random toiletries: (1) This piece of cloth labeled "shoes". I have no idea what it's for. There's only one "shoe", and it doesn't even fit over my foot. That'd be great if someone could clue me in. (2) A nice shower cap. I was tempted to wear it down to the poker room, but I'm not cool enough to do that. (3) A file. I didn't touch that. The public restrooms were also very lavish and clean. The paper towels were amazing. The casino probably loses millions a year in paper towel costs, but I'm sure it's worth it. They're like those reusable cloth towels you can buy at the stores, only they're white, and they smell terrible.
This trip was almost as lucrative as the one last week, except for 2 minor details...I'm sure you're all aware of the joys of jumping in elevators. Well, the Borgata has some pretty sweet elevators for jumping in. Unfortunately for me, I was wearing a button-down shirt with a pocket, and that pocket contained one $50 bill. After jumping in every elevator I went on from the parking garage to my room (that's two elevators), my pocket contained no $50 bills. I was sad. Oh well. After anguishing for all of like 2 minutes, Brian and I went back down to the poker room to get some play in before bed. The waiting list was really long, and after waiting 20 minutes or so, I became tired and impatient, so we went back upstairs. I'm still thinking about the lost $50 on the way up, and being that I'd been awake for the past 36 hours, I decide to put $100 on a roulette table. When I sat down, some squirrely looking chinaman placed some insane inside bets and hit his number like five times in a row. After the second spin, I caught on and placed bets and each of his stacks and won. Then he left. With like 2 grand. Then I lost. All of the $100. Oh well, bed time. Finally, sleepy night-night after being awake for 38 hours. Borgata pillows!!
Lessons learned? (1) Don't jump in elevators when you have money in your shirt pocket. (2) Remove money from your shirt pocket if you want to jump in elevators. (3) If you want to permanently remove money from your possession, go play roulette.
This morning, we played for a few hours before we left, and I made back the money I lost last night without much problem. Ate more sandwiches. Then I drove home without making a single wrong turn. We probably got home about 45 minutes sooner this week, and I didn't have to fill the gas tank on the way back! On the way home, there's a town called Chew's Landing between the Atlantic City Expressway and New Jersey Turnpike, complete with Chew's Methodist Church! What a great place to live!
There were also plenty of interesting characters we met at the Borg. The one that sticks out the most if Mr. Stinky, or "goiter". He was a rather large, Jewish man, who smelled like death. I had to sit next to him for about 45 minutes, and it was not a good experience. Later, at another table we were at, he had two empty seats on each side of him. It was funny. Then there's Buddha, a large Asian man. He complained for like an hour or so about how some guy beat his pocket kings with two pair he caught on the river. He didn't smell too bad. Then there was the guy with a Jets sweatshirt who ran (literally ran) back and forth between his seat and the sports betting room like every 10 minutes.
So...after two weeks and two trips to AC, I made some decent money to blow over the next semester. I probably would have made only half that working at a real job. Actually, no; not even that. Such a crazy world. Remember, use common sense the next time you're in an elevator.
So, we got pretty much the same room as before, but the layout was reversed. Maybe we got a room on the other side of the hotel. They gave us a generous offering of random toiletries: (1) This piece of cloth labeled "shoes". I have no idea what it's for. There's only one "shoe", and it doesn't even fit over my foot. That'd be great if someone could clue me in. (2) A nice shower cap. I was tempted to wear it down to the poker room, but I'm not cool enough to do that. (3) A file. I didn't touch that. The public restrooms were also very lavish and clean. The paper towels were amazing. The casino probably loses millions a year in paper towel costs, but I'm sure it's worth it. They're like those reusable cloth towels you can buy at the stores, only they're white, and they smell terrible.
This trip was almost as lucrative as the one last week, except for 2 minor details...I'm sure you're all aware of the joys of jumping in elevators. Well, the Borgata has some pretty sweet elevators for jumping in. Unfortunately for me, I was wearing a button-down shirt with a pocket, and that pocket contained one $50 bill. After jumping in every elevator I went on from the parking garage to my room (that's two elevators), my pocket contained no $50 bills. I was sad. Oh well. After anguishing for all of like 2 minutes, Brian and I went back down to the poker room to get some play in before bed. The waiting list was really long, and after waiting 20 minutes or so, I became tired and impatient, so we went back upstairs. I'm still thinking about the lost $50 on the way up, and being that I'd been awake for the past 36 hours, I decide to put $100 on a roulette table. When I sat down, some squirrely looking chinaman placed some insane inside bets and hit his number like five times in a row. After the second spin, I caught on and placed bets and each of his stacks and won. Then he left. With like 2 grand. Then I lost. All of the $100. Oh well, bed time. Finally, sleepy night-night after being awake for 38 hours. Borgata pillows!!
Lessons learned? (1) Don't jump in elevators when you have money in your shirt pocket. (2) Remove money from your shirt pocket if you want to jump in elevators. (3) If you want to permanently remove money from your possession, go play roulette.
This morning, we played for a few hours before we left, and I made back the money I lost last night without much problem. Ate more sandwiches. Then I drove home without making a single wrong turn. We probably got home about 45 minutes sooner this week, and I didn't have to fill the gas tank on the way back! On the way home, there's a town called Chew's Landing between the Atlantic City Expressway and New Jersey Turnpike, complete with Chew's Methodist Church! What a great place to live!
There were also plenty of interesting characters we met at the Borg. The one that sticks out the most if Mr. Stinky, or "goiter". He was a rather large, Jewish man, who smelled like death. I had to sit next to him for about 45 minutes, and it was not a good experience. Later, at another table we were at, he had two empty seats on each side of him. It was funny. Then there's Buddha, a large Asian man. He complained for like an hour or so about how some guy beat his pocket kings with two pair he caught on the river. He didn't smell too bad. Then there was the guy with a Jets sweatshirt who ran (literally ran) back and forth between his seat and the sports betting room like every 10 minutes.
So...after two weeks and two trips to AC, I made some decent money to blow over the next semester. I probably would have made only half that working at a real job. Actually, no; not even that. Such a crazy world. Remember, use common sense the next time you're in an elevator.
posted by Kelvin at 9:41 PM
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