Guitar Hero: An Epic Tale
So I went out and invested in Guitar Hero 3 for my Xbox 360. I should be studying for finals; and writing a paper. I suppose all that can wait.
I did a lot of thinking today about the last few days, and I keep wondering if I made a mistake. Obviously I can't go back, and as much as I might want things to go back to the way they were, I know deep down inside that it would never be the same. But ultimately, I think this is what I want...just to be by myself.
On a quick aside, I think I just fixed my comma key on my keyboard! Hooray!
I don't think I ever imagined that I'd say that. I had waited for so many years to be able to finally change my "relationship status" to anything other than "single". Then, when it finally changed, I couldn't wait to change it back. Are relationships overrated? Perhaps. Maybe it stems from that problem I mentioned before about wanting to feel sorry for myself. I think maybe I would rather people see me as the pathetic guy who can't get a date and never wants to go out. That's pretty messed up now that I think about it. I know that self-confidence is important to have when dealing with the opposite sex, and I think I can act like I have all the confidence in the world without ever believing it. Most of the time though, I don't bother. I guess like they say, "fake it 'til you make it."
I know this is random, but the sneaky butler guy from the Adam Sandler movie "Mr. Deeds" is hilarious. Here is a short clip. It made me giggle.
So after two whole days back from Jacksonville, I have accomplished absolutely nothing constructive. I played a lot of Xbox and watched a bit of TV. I think all that is because of the new HDTV I bought. It's pretty awesome. But not really. Seriously though, it's sweet. I suppose it's better that I start studying. A boy can dream.
On another note, I have realized that over the past week or so, I have been eating terribly or not bothering to eat at all. I guess waking up at 4:30 in the afternoon will affect the eating schedule. I might also have gotten too lazy to cook. And video games make you want to stay in the room and not bother with food. I am beginning to hate my life all over again.
A few days ago, Mr. Horse asked if I wanted to go to Atlantic City over the winter break. I haven't been there in what seems like an eternity (perhaps 2 years?). I gave up gambling a long time ago after I realized I had a bad problem. I also promised someone that I wouldn't gamble anymore. However, it seems like she dropped off the face of the planet. Part of me certainly does miss the sheer frustration, boredom, and agony of playing poker. Part of me also misses the luxurious sheets, huge bath towels, and overly expensive paper towels of the Borgata. Unfortunately, the AC trip is planned for the same day as the Orange Bowl down in Miami. We play Kansas. That is going to be a weird game. I kind of wanted to see Tech play Hawaii. Well, I really wanted to see Tech play Hawaii. It would certainly be interesting to see their insane offense go up against our defense. A boy can dream.
But going back to the AC trip; I'm not sure if it'd be wise to go. I'm not sure if I can necessarily control how much I'll ultimately be wagering. On the one hand, if I do well, it will only entice me to return to the game. If I fare poorly, it will only entice me to throw more money at trying to win it back as quickly as I can. You can see where this is going... We'll see. I could definitely use the trip.
After coming back from Jacksonville, I sorely miss all those times I had with my amigos back in the day. Whether it was a trip to the Borgata with George or Mr. Horse, or a wedding at the beach complete with drunken debauchery hours before my LSAT, I don't think I fully appreciated those times until now. I'm here in DC, and I don't get to have those experiences anymore, unless I'm going to Tech or North Carolina or whereever to meet up with Mr. Johnson, Mr. Bales, or my brother. I don't think I'm in an environment where I can make those same kinds of friends like I did at Tech. Yes, I'm still in school, but it's just grossly different. It's strange; when I applied for law schools a few years ago, I was intent on going to a school in the city (every school I applied for was in a major city). I figured I wanted a change of pace from Blacksburg, which has that middle of nowhere-esque feel to it. Perhaps it's because I'm not actually living in the city, but outside in the suburbs, but I actually hate it here. And I fear that the rest of my life will be the same as it is now:
1) Wake up at some ungodly hour.
2) Go to school/work.
3) Come home. Go to the gym.
4) Eat dinner.
5) BS on the internet/Xbox/TV.
6) Go to sleep.
Lather, rinse, repeat. Now that I think about it, I had a conversation with Mr. Johnson about how his daily schedule is basically exactly like I just wrote. But at least he has a few close friends from work that help to make life a little less miserable. I don't think I have the luxury of close local friends.
So the day after finals, I get to go on a boat ride with the family for 9 days to the Caribbean. I've never been on a boat ride for that long, so I'm not sure what to expect. I did some reading, and the average age of the cruise is supposed to be in the late 30's to early 40's. Can you say cougar?
Wow, I figured that this would be long, but I didn't think it would go on this long. Truly "epic". Heh. Two days in a row, too.
Good evening.
I did a lot of thinking today about the last few days, and I keep wondering if I made a mistake. Obviously I can't go back, and as much as I might want things to go back to the way they were, I know deep down inside that it would never be the same. But ultimately, I think this is what I want...just to be by myself.
On a quick aside, I think I just fixed my comma key on my keyboard! Hooray!
I don't think I ever imagined that I'd say that. I had waited for so many years to be able to finally change my "relationship status" to anything other than "single". Then, when it finally changed, I couldn't wait to change it back. Are relationships overrated? Perhaps. Maybe it stems from that problem I mentioned before about wanting to feel sorry for myself. I think maybe I would rather people see me as the pathetic guy who can't get a date and never wants to go out. That's pretty messed up now that I think about it. I know that self-confidence is important to have when dealing with the opposite sex, and I think I can act like I have all the confidence in the world without ever believing it. Most of the time though, I don't bother. I guess like they say, "fake it 'til you make it."
I know this is random, but the sneaky butler guy from the Adam Sandler movie "Mr. Deeds" is hilarious. Here is a short clip. It made me giggle.
So after two whole days back from Jacksonville, I have accomplished absolutely nothing constructive. I played a lot of Xbox and watched a bit of TV. I think all that is because of the new HDTV I bought. It's pretty awesome. But not really. Seriously though, it's sweet. I suppose it's better that I start studying. A boy can dream.
On another note, I have realized that over the past week or so, I have been eating terribly or not bothering to eat at all. I guess waking up at 4:30 in the afternoon will affect the eating schedule. I might also have gotten too lazy to cook. And video games make you want to stay in the room and not bother with food. I am beginning to hate my life all over again.
A few days ago, Mr. Horse asked if I wanted to go to Atlantic City over the winter break. I haven't been there in what seems like an eternity (perhaps 2 years?). I gave up gambling a long time ago after I realized I had a bad problem. I also promised someone that I wouldn't gamble anymore. However, it seems like she dropped off the face of the planet. Part of me certainly does miss the sheer frustration, boredom, and agony of playing poker. Part of me also misses the luxurious sheets, huge bath towels, and overly expensive paper towels of the Borgata. Unfortunately, the AC trip is planned for the same day as the Orange Bowl down in Miami. We play Kansas. That is going to be a weird game. I kind of wanted to see Tech play Hawaii. Well, I really wanted to see Tech play Hawaii. It would certainly be interesting to see their insane offense go up against our defense. A boy can dream.
But going back to the AC trip; I'm not sure if it'd be wise to go. I'm not sure if I can necessarily control how much I'll ultimately be wagering. On the one hand, if I do well, it will only entice me to return to the game. If I fare poorly, it will only entice me to throw more money at trying to win it back as quickly as I can. You can see where this is going... We'll see. I could definitely use the trip.
After coming back from Jacksonville, I sorely miss all those times I had with my amigos back in the day. Whether it was a trip to the Borgata with George or Mr. Horse, or a wedding at the beach complete with drunken debauchery hours before my LSAT, I don't think I fully appreciated those times until now. I'm here in DC, and I don't get to have those experiences anymore, unless I'm going to Tech or North Carolina or whereever to meet up with Mr. Johnson, Mr. Bales, or my brother. I don't think I'm in an environment where I can make those same kinds of friends like I did at Tech. Yes, I'm still in school, but it's just grossly different. It's strange; when I applied for law schools a few years ago, I was intent on going to a school in the city (every school I applied for was in a major city). I figured I wanted a change of pace from Blacksburg, which has that middle of nowhere-esque feel to it. Perhaps it's because I'm not actually living in the city, but outside in the suburbs, but I actually hate it here. And I fear that the rest of my life will be the same as it is now:
1) Wake up at some ungodly hour.
2) Go to school/work.
3) Come home. Go to the gym.
4) Eat dinner.
5) BS on the internet/Xbox/TV.
6) Go to sleep.
Lather, rinse, repeat. Now that I think about it, I had a conversation with Mr. Johnson about how his daily schedule is basically exactly like I just wrote. But at least he has a few close friends from work that help to make life a little less miserable. I don't think I have the luxury of close local friends.
So the day after finals, I get to go on a boat ride with the family for 9 days to the Caribbean. I've never been on a boat ride for that long, so I'm not sure what to expect. I did some reading, and the average age of the cruise is supposed to be in the late 30's to early 40's. Can you say cougar?
Wow, I figured that this would be long, but I didn't think it would go on this long. Truly "epic". Heh. Two days in a row, too.
Good evening.
posted by Kelvin at 2:42 AM
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