Superman Returns - Superman + This Blog

After discovering that another frequently updated blog actually had a link to this sorry excuse for entertainment, I felt somewhat obligated to bring my rambling nonsense back to life. Also, people had bugged me about it. So it's been over a year since the last post, and an interesting year it has been. I'll probably disperse the storytelling over a few posts in the upcoming weeks, just so I don't throw everything into a single post, never to post again. And besides, I have a property exam in about 9 and a half hours, and I'd like to get started on studying for that within the next few hours. I'll talk about my law school experience in a future episode.

When I first logged onto the Blogger site, I was welcomed by Google. What the heck. Google bought the Blogger too? I hope Google gets run over by the BT (for those who don't know, that would be the Blacksburg Transit, which is the bus system at Virginia Tech). And yes, a multi-billion dollar corporation that owns about half the internet (well, not really) can get run over by a bus. The BT is magical. It can run down anything. Anyway, I discovered quite a number of drafts dating back to this past summer. Some were about graduation; others about law school. I guess I had made some attempts at reviving this thing, but I don't think any of the material was very good. Perhaps I forgot to press the publish button.

I then took a look back at some of the stuff I wrote. 28 posts in total. Wow, that's a lot more than I remember ever writing. I read some of the older stuff, and I must admit some of it was kind of clever. I'll provide a link to probably my favorite one: Girl Meets Cell Phone. It will certainly be tough to match. I will try my dandiest.

I also discovered that while I'm writing these things, I lose a lot of the thoughts and ideas that come up while doing other stuff at the same time, like cooking dinner, going to the bathroom, or napping. These posts take a while, so I'm doing a lot other things too, and by the time I get back to the computer, I lose about 99% of what I wanted to write about. Oh well, that's too bad.

Anyway, I figured I'd start by ranting a little bit about the personal/social life over the past year or so. It suppose it has been an interesting experience. This past fall, I thought I had inched closer and closer to actually being somewhat "happy". I guess I finally felt like I was appreciated and welcome in this world. But in a bonehead move over the winter break that I still regret to this day, that all ended, and I don't know if I ever was the same after that. My parents even told me that I had changed, saying that didn't talk anymore and just looked angry all the time. For the first two weeks of school after that, I don't think I talked to anyone at school. Well, I really didn't have anything to say, and I wasn't feeling particularly chipper. I suppose I was angry mainly at myself for developing that false sense of confidence and hope in the social arena. I always knew that I was destined to a life of solitude, and I felt comfortable feeling sorry for myself. I shouldn't have strayed from that.

Looking back, I think I have always lived very passively and defensively, not taking any risks and disfavoring change. I figure, if you always try to maintain the status quo and avoid change, things can never get any worse. I find a comfort in that. Then someone will respond by saying how things can never get any better without change. Then I respond by saying how you will never be sad since things can't get any worse, and you will be happy if something good does happen. Like I often say, 'no expectations, no disappointments.' Then they respond, 'then you'll always be miserable.' Then I respond by calling up the BT.

Perhaps 'they' are right. I guess there were a few times I wish I had been more active in my social life. The one that comes to mind was at the end of my senior year at Tech, with a girl I had known but just started talking to. Of course I was too scared to say anything and preferred to bask in the safety of inaction. Eventually it was too late. I'm not sure what would have happened, but in the end, does it really matter?

I don't need any of this...I don't need this stuff...I don't need anything...except this...this ashtray, and that's the only thing I need...I don't need this or this...just this ashtray...and this paddle game...the ashtray and the paddle game, and that's all I need...and this...remote control...the ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, that's all I need...and these matches...these matches, and the ashtray, and the remote control, and the paddle ball...and this lamp...the ashtray...and this paddle game...and the remote control...and the lamp...and that's all I need...and that's all I need, too...I don't need one other thing...Not one...I need this...the paddle game and the chair and the remote control and the matches...for sure...

I hope someone recognizes that. I know Mr. Johnson will get a kick out of it. But anyway, I figure I'll die an old man sitting on his porch alone in a rocking chair with a cane and yelling at all the kids that run by. Well, I hope Mr. Johnson will visit and yell at the kids with me.

I guess things have slowly been improving, and I'm closer to returning to my state of contentness before everything that happened in the fall. That probably means I'll once again be spiteful and angry with everything and everyone around me, and of course, that means I'll probably have more to write about.

I spend a majority of my time couped up in my room nowadays, so I hardly have any social interaction outside of school. I think I had missed that from the fall, when I had spent a lot of my free time with another person. And to think, when school first started, I had complained that I felt somewhat lonely. What was I thinking. I guess the one good thing that came out of last fall and winter is that I have embraced my solitude even more. Luckily there's TV on DVD to pass the time. And I've been playing and practicing golf a lot more now, just like I did back at Tech during my fifth year. I'd either be in class where I didn't talk to anyone, at the golf course where I didn't talk to anyone, or in my room where I occasionally talked to Mr. Johnson and my brother. Those certainly were good times. Except for the round steaks. And the beef that was "still good."

So this past March, I went to the beach for Spring Break, spending a majority of the time avoiding having my picture taken. I felt I did pretty well, only having about 4 or 5 pictures taken over an entire week with four other people scheming against me. I just never liked having my picture taken. It was not because of something stupid, like the idea that the camera "stole my soul." That's just silly. I think it is more a self-conscious thing, where I don't like having to look at my ugly mug afterwards. People always have pictures floating around, especially now with Myspace and Facebook, and I'm bound to catch a glimpse at some point. So the only thing you can do is cut it off at its source and minimize the camera exposure. Still, the beach trip was enjoyable and will receive its proper attention in a later post.

Well, I think that's enough for now. I have property to learn, and only about 7 hours to do it. Look forward to upcoming episodes such as: the joys of living with strangers in a house, why I love TV, you all use way too many commas, and how I want to be an astronaut when I grow up.

Good day.