I have no idea what to think right now. So many thoughts are running through my head, and I just want to forget about everything. Someone makes you think that you matter, and then all of a sudden, out of the blue, it's like you never existed. She was probably putting on a show the whole time, and she was never really interested at all. Just something to pass the time while looking for someone better. I guess she found that better someone. This is certainly not the first time this has happened...actually, I think it has happened in every single case.

This is probably why I hate the whole idea of dating. I don't think it's really worth it in the end. Yea, I think at this point, I will abstain from it forever. Yes, that is my final answer.

From Maroon 5:

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you.

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to try
So this is goodbye.


Of course, this is all speculation, and perhaps I am overreacting to something that's really nothing, but recent events just don't make any sense. Did I do something wrong? Or maybe she's fallen deathly ill? There's so many possibilities, but the only logical explanations are that either there's someone new or she was never interested. It makes sense to me.

Oh well, I think I'm going to go run in the 25 degree cold of night. I hate my life.