I'd like to apologize...

...for some of the things I said in my previous post. I certainly messed up when I left out many of the people I know here in DC that I would certainly consider my friends. I made the mistake of thinking only of the few people I knew from Tech that I had known for many years and shared many miserable times with. Everyone here in DC and at Howard certainly do mean a lot to me, and I was out of line to say that I wouldn't have considered you friends. I normally don't feel bad about anything I write here, in its candid and uncensored form, but this might be the first time I regret what I wrote. Again, I want to apologize for this; you mean more to me than you think.

Good evening.

I really don't have too many friends...

After contemplating my weekend down at Tech, I realized that social time with the people down there was much more enjoyable than social time here in DC. When I'm out anywhere in DC, I feel like I'm just standing there by myself. Now that I think about it, most of the time I am just standing there against the wall by myself. Heh, neat. Anyway, I don't think I open up with the DC folks like I would with my amigos from Tech. I certainly feel isolated in DC since I live so far away from school, but there really hasn't been anything that I've been through with anyone here that would create that friendship bond. I'm pretty sure that's how it'll stay for the rest of my time here. I'm not particularly butt-hurt about it.

I figured out a quick and easy way to distinguish a friend from an acquaintance. If I don't refer to you in the following ways, then you are merely an acquaintance. Otherwise, you are a friend.


(1) Mr./Ms. ______ (only applies if everyone else would normally call you by your first name)
(2) Some sort of barnyard animal
(3) Bob (only applies if your name isn't actually Bob)


There's really nothing wrong with being an acquaintance. It just means that I probably don't like hanging out with you, because you are too easily offended or because you are just a big tool.

Of course this doesn't leave me with too many friends, but that is ok. I think I can count them all on one hand; and still have room for more.

I have recently been having a very difficult time sleeping at night. This is probably due to my room being oppressively hot, forcing me to lie in bed wide awake. Maybe I'm thinking about too much stuff. Case in point, I ended up getting up in the middle of the night to write this post and record my thoughts.

On another note, I am wondering whether it is rude to tell people to just stop talking to you while in mid-conversation. Here is the situation. I am coming back from a reception at a local firm (which I will discuss in more detail later), and someone from my school happens to be with me as we take the Metro back to school. I don't know this person, but apparently being from the same school gives him a license to be my chum. He kept asking me questions about this and that, what I did in undergrad, what I plan on doing after I graduate, the awesomeness of electrical engineering, etc. I was tired and just wanted to ride the Metro in peace. Don't get me wrong, even if I was wide awake and just sitting around, I still wouldn't have wanted to talk to him. Anyway, I have a feeling most people don't have the gumption to just tell someone to stop talking to them. I'll have to give it a whirl.

Earlier, I had mentioned a reception at a local law firm. Normally, I would stay as far away as possible from these events, since they are typically boring and filled with more tools than you could possibly imagine. However, I felt I had a decent interview with the firm and thought I'd try to play the game. I will never do that again. Visiting the firm and meeting its employees made me think much less of law firms and people associated with them. They are a bunch of elitist chumps who shouldn't be paid half of what they actually get. Students from other schools (Georgetown and GWU come to mind) were all a bunch of tools that couldn't stop talking about themselves.

Female from GWU: "Yea, I'm from Massachusetts, and I haven't really seen much of DC. I spent soooo much time studying during my first year that I didn't get a chance to see any of the museums in DC." (What the hell. I really don't know what to say to that.)

Same female from GWU to associate: "I'm primarily interested in real estate and communications law." (Female learns that the firm specializes in construction law and introduces herself to another associate) "I'm primarily interested in real estate and construction law."

Luckily, I didn't really meet any other students at that reception. And also, I like museums. They just aren't a big priority when it comes to seeing a new city.

Oh, I just thought of one other thing that bothers me to no end. This came up several times while I was trying to be social earlier this year. If you are all at the table and I approach and sit at another table by myself, don't say, "So are you too good to sit with us?" I hate that. First, I don't like to interrupt people's gatherings. It's usually just awkward. Second, I usually assume that you wouldn't want me to sit there (inferiority complex I've had most of my life). Third, people generally want to chat when you join the table, and sometimes I just don't want to talk.

That is all for now. Good evening.

Post OCS Post

So we've been long overdue for a post since I came back from OCS, so here we go.

I'm honestly surprised that I was able to finish the whole 10-week program without any major hitch or injury. Let me first say two things to summarize my experience: one, 10 weeks is a long time; two, I never want to go back to that place ever again.

So it's back to school for year two of three at the illustrious Howard University School of Law. So far things have been pretty easy, and there isn't much work involved yet. Before school started, I had volunteered to be an orientation leader for the incoming class of 2010.

On a side note, what do the freshmen in the VTCC Class of 2010 say when they hear 'zero-five'? 'Ten'? Or maybe they got rid of that tradition entirely because of how stupid it made the 2010 class sound? Perhaps the Class of 1910 were skipped too?

Anyway, back to the orientation business. Orientation lasts for two days at the end of the week before the first week of class. I figured that I'd contribute something to the school and maybe increase my sociableness (don't think that's a word...). Well, I think it made me more irritable. I think I'd rather be left alone to eat my chicken and rice in the corner.

During the first week of school, I made two minimal (yet very expensive) attempts to be more social. I think that fills up my quota for the year.

So my motto, 'no expectations, no disappointments', was recently brought under scrutiny by some people during a social event that I ended up going to. I thought I'd clear up any confusion. Simply put, if you avoid having expectations of good things happening or just expect that the worst will always happen, then you can never be disappointed. One of two things can happen: (1) the worst always happens, but since you expect it, then you're not disappointed in the outcome; or (2) something good somehow happens, and you're happy because it's better than what you expected. Therefore, you can only be happy or content. It works.

Now, some confusion came when someone suggested that I avoid relationships/friendships because I would be disappointed by them. Not really. We will analogize with a dog pooping in your house. (This somehow relates a lot of random things from this weekend.) We must first assume that the dog really wants to poop in your house. When the dog poops in your house, you react by tasering your dog. Obviously, your dog would find this more than uncomfortable. Of course, the first time, the dog wouldn't think to relate the poop with the taser. The next time, the dog finds a nice spot in the house to poop, and once again, the dog gets tasered. After several repetitions, the dog realizes that only bad things happen when he poops in your house. Assuming you don't give him a treat or reward for pooping in the house, the dog also realizes that nothing good comes of it either. Therefore, the dog stops pooping in your house. After a while, he isn't sad that he can't poop in your house anymore. He expects the worst (i.e. taser) and avoids expecting the good (i.e. treat), thus avoiding any disappointment. So after rereading that, I just realized that this was probably one of the dumbest things I have ever written. So be it. It works.

Anyway, moving along, let's say that after a long time, the dog becomes content with the fact that shouldn't poop in the house. However, one day, the dog finds a spot in the house that he really wants to poop on. He figures that you probably forgot where you kept your taser, so he poops. It was great for him for that short time, until he gets tasered. This tasering was the worst because he knew better than to poop in your house, and he felt like a fool for thinking the taser wouldn't be coming. Now he knows that he will never poop in your house again. Wow, this kind of makes almost no sense. I primarily just wanted to put the words dog, poop, and taser all in the same idea. It works.

For those who read that and think I'm an idiot, I will try to Barney-fy it for you. Obviously, the pooping in the house would be analogous to pursuing a 'potential' relationship. 'Potential' is just another word for 'in my dreams'. The taser would be similar to one saying, 'hahah, no.'

I hope that cleared up any confusion.

This past weekend I went down to Tech to watch the ECU game and see all the old comrades. The game was a big letdown, but it was a good time otherwise. I must congratulate Mr. Johnson for getting a pilot slot with the Air Force. Four years later, the Sherman curse is officially broken.

While at Tech, I realized how awkward I must seem when at social gatherings with strangers. I suppose people avoid talking to me because I look like I don't want to talk to them. Again, I am not butt-hurt about this. I figured that there's plenty of other guys for them to talk to and mingle with, so why would they want to talk to me. I don't like to compete.

I was watching the movie Major Payne the other day, and there was one line that I found pretty funny. "If the Marine Corps wanted me to have a wife, they would have issued me one." It works.

Anyway, I will try to write here more, since I don't really have any work to do for school.

Good evening.