Back in Business!

So, after several-month-long hiatus, I've decided to return to the semi-daily postings on this stupid little blog of mine. There's just so much to talk about, complain about, or rant about that I needed an avenue to express such feelings. I am now taking a much more unrestrained approach that is filled with bias, insult, and most importantly, truth. Many may be offended, and frankly, I don't care. I hope you take it personally. I doubt too many people read this, but I'm confident that those who do have the personal fortitude not to cry.

I took the LSAT (Law School Admission Test) today for the second time. The first attempt was in June of this past summer, and I didn't do quite as well as I hoped on it. Still, I finished at about the 50th percentile, and given the circumstances, I guess it wasn't that bad. Had a fantastic wedding to go to that weekend before the test, then I went to the beach after that. I took the test whilst at the beach. This second time around was quite similar. My preparation for it consisted of doing a few practice tests the night before. I definitely did better this time around. Now, onto the funny part of this experience.

I can honestly say the majority of folks take this test way too seriously. For what it's worth, it doesn't matter what school you go to, unless you're talking about maybe a top 3 nationally ranked school. Everyone comes out with the same law degree at the end. The only difference really comes from job recruiting. Generally, firms and companies scout in the more selective schools because they think everyone that goes to a "good" school must be an excellent law student. Therefore, the only people that would be obsessed with the LSAT are those incompetent ones that couldn't make it on their own and need to sneak through the cracks of a "prestigious" school, hoping to land a good job because they would otherwise suck at life.

(I know that argument had no real support and was terribly written, but I just wanted to emphasize that last phrase: "...they would otherwise suck at life....")

"....They would suck at life..."

"...They suck at life..."


Here are some quotes from some of the students that were taking the test in the same room as me, along with my commentary:

Random frat guy: "Man, my life will be normal again! In the past month, I've only had like 4 beers!"
Response to self: Wow....you sure must be proud of yourself! And a month? Come on, you seriously studied this thing for a month? You must be desperate.
Random frat guy: "After this test, my frat buddies are takin' me straight to TOTS!!"
Response to self: ............

Random sorority girl: [walks into testing room] "I've been taking that Kaplan course for the past month, and I've actually taken some practice tests in this room. I totally feel confident in here!"
My physical response: HAHAHAHAHA.

Same random sorority girl: "I hope I get into George Mason, or else I'll end up having to go to Liberty......"
Response to self: A little background information first. The George Mason Law School, due to its extremely small size, has the lowest acceptance rate of any law school in the country (yes, even lower than Yale and Harvard). Liberty is a non-accredited law school. Therefore, if your two choices are either, get into George Mason, or end up having to go to Liberty, then you're an idiot. You'll never get into George Mason, no matter how confident you are.

Ok, anyway, here are my thoughts on the LSAT. I believe that any kind of preparation for the test should be prohibited. I know that this would be impossible to enforce, but the only thing preparation does is make you think you're smarter than you really are. I have a good feeling that a large percentage of these LSAT test-takers are imbeciles that spend loads of money on "Kaplan courses", computer software, books, etc., in order to raise their LSAT score to a respectable level. The LSAT is a very difficult test, and I am sure the average scores would be considerably lower to more accurately reflect the true abilities of the average law school applicant.

Enough about the LSAT. Girls that wear trucker hats and those ridiculous looking big square sunglasses are dumb. They are just plain dumb. Do they not look in a mirror before leaving their house? Those glasses rank right up there with the popped collar and the double popped collars. To paraphrase a recent editorial in the Collegiate Times, when people are looking at you, they're not noticing how cool your goofy plastic sunglasses and popped collar are, but instead, they are laughing at how retarded you look.

To conclude for the evening, I'd like to present a rough sketch of the design for a new bumper sticker to replace some of the old ones floating around.

In the next episode:

Chinamen are the least desirable gender/race combination on the planet!!!